My Bestfriend's Wedding

Tomorrow, is, My Bestfriend's Wedding. My first love. My friend of 11 years. He was my Enemy #1 at freshman year. He made me cry. I went to his dad (our Computer teacher) he was told to apologize, he did. He made me cry a lot more times after that. I'd cry whenever he got himself a new girlfriend. I'd cry when i miss him. I should cry right now. I miss him. And I feel like I'm losing him forever. He's getting married. The vows. The dress, the suit, the motiff. Did you know he even asked me or must I say begged me (together with his mom) to be his bridesmaid? That wouldn't have turned out right. Now I'm not sure if I can drag myself to even attend. Should I dress up? Show up? What if he asks me to make a speech? Or catch the bouquet? But I guess the real worry is, what if he does not see me at all? I'll write a post after, if I would have gone or not. I told him I will be at his back for whatever he wishes to do. That's what bestfriends do right? Pledge. For good times and bad. Though his best times maybe my worst. His happiness may be my pain. But I will carry on. For richer and poorer. In sickness and in health. I shall be his friend. Till death do us part.