Turning Point at 20

I wrote this when I turned 20, just about the time the big hand reached 12. I wonder how far I've gone since.. seems I drifted away.. I gotta bring myself in

As I look back to the twentysumthing years of my life, I incessantly wonder as to how I spent it, whether I lived up to what it was supposed to be. I try to figure out if I’ve already had enough pain and happiness to arm me into the bigger world that awaits. I try to see how many lives I’ve touched and how many have stepped into mine. From how I was before and how I am now, I try to get a clear picture to know who I really am and if I am in the right track of my life, if I am in the right direction, or if I should go on. I don’t know if I’ve become wiser or more mature ‘coz I know at times I’m still that silly little girl. And I’m quite sure I’d never fully shed off my girlish ways. But I take pride in that: of my insecurity, of my being childish, of my being vulnerable, and battling ‘em all –feeling great in who I am now. A lot of things await and it’s undeniably scarier, more serious, and larger than the life I’m accustomed to. But I’m standing on firm ground and there’s no other way but up.