Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer?

"Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop " - Meredith Grey.

I guess this is true. I've been called a masochist. Cliche. Drama Queen.

I'm so redundant with my sad stories. In thoughts and in deeds. I keep on getting my own rocks to hit me in the head. I sense something isn't gonna do me any good and what do I do? I stand on my ground and get stubborn and patient and in the end-- vulnerable.

Why do I keep on hitting myself? 'Coz at some point it's worth my while. Then I wait. When the hammer tires. Or Until... I get tired.

Whichever comes first, I stop then that's when the good feeling comes.