True Value

I do this post because I remember, I cherish, and somehow a lot of the moments I've had with this person made me feel what life truly is, that it is good.

Tonight I remember the guy I wished for my 18th bday. He came a few months after August. I recall seeing him for the first time in the AVR, he was just sitting there reading lines, people were talking about him, I liked the way he spoke. No we didn't talk and yes I was that close to hear him practicing the script. I'm not really sure if I quite liked him then but I remember being his partner in one of those exercises we'd sorta take turns carrying each other, against our backs. I think I chose him to be my partner that time. I knew he was surprised, surely I couldn't carry his weight. It was kinda late when I realized how foolish we musta looked. So I turned away after and went back to not minding him. Then there was this time in theater where the group was interconnected, feeling each other's pulse. I ended up beside him. Again, I'm not sure if I was instructed to go there or if it was just me. I guess it won't be so much of a surprise then if we ended up together when our friend got hospitalized during our cast party.

I guess God dearly loved me when I was 18 'coz this guy was so much more than what I expected of a special someone. He picked me up from class always with an umbrella for the rain, well the possibility of it. He'd pour his heart out. Listen to me. Go to my house at the wee hours just to check if there were people outside our apartment 'coz we were paranoid. Walk me home. Walk under the rain just to bring me a charger.

Up to now I'm not really sure why I cut it off. I remember wanting to take steps backward, he wanted something solid and steady and I, I just got my debut wish. I was a kid. We met again after 3? years and I knew him better. Maybe even realized what I have missed. And I didn't want to miss out again. So I was there when I could be. I felt all that I can feel. And expressed all the feelings that I can allow myself to. I didn't know you could acutally pick things from where you left it, that's what happened. As if nothing in between happened.

A lot has. He has relationships. I have my mess ups.

But we stay together in that genuine support, care, and worry of each other's regard. In bad days, we couldn't wish more than be there for each other to reassure that life doesn't suck that much. We reminisce the past and that helps us find the way back to our old selves and puts us into perspective. We're happy for each other. Sad for our defeats. Inspired for our tomorrows.

He's there for me now. Like he has always been. God knows I never get to the bottom of my cup, because I know at some part of this crazy world, someone out there wholeheartedly cares for me. And I hope he feels that too.